How and why to keep yourself in a relationship. The many-sided hebe: how to care for it and how many species are there? Where can I buy
When we try to please our beloved, we pander to their whims and whims in every possible way, we let down unforgivable situations on the brakes. We build the image of a patient and all-understanding, faithful friend, with whom it is convenient, simple and easy. Men, of course, do not mind such a position and use it with pleasure. The problem begins later, when women realize that they are openly used and sit on their heads! Let's figure out how to prevent this from happening.
1. Know how to say “no”
Many men are very fond of making women dependent, and the surest way is through gifts, favors and favors. For some reason, girls think that they have to pay for all this with a bed, but STOP! If this is a man’s initiative, then you don’t owe him anything, and no matter how much he puts pressure on you, you are not obliged to agree to actions that are contrary to your will. The more you pay for gifts with intimacy, the more you depreciate in your own eyes.2. Divide responsibilities equally
As a rule, the standard model of family relations: a man works, and a woman, in addition to also working, is responsible for everything else in the family. On her fragile shoulders lies the care of all family members, including the man. If you feel that this distribution of responsibilities is unfair, discuss the problem with the other half. Just do it in a relaxing atmosphere, when a man is full, relaxed and satisfied. This way you will be more likely to be heard.3. Empathize, but don't be sorry
Women very often make an unforgivable mistake in a relationship - they show pity for a man. Under no circumstances should this be done. Pity kills everything masculine in your other halves, including dignity, initiative, the instinct of the earner, and so on. Pitying a man, you automatically put him on your head. Don't let this happen! Let a man be responsible for his actions or his own inaction.
4. Do not praise without a reason
Many women give their men baseless compliments to make them feel on top, increase self-esteem and draw strength for exploits from praise. In fact, it is highly likely that men will get used to causeless praise and approval and give up. Why bother if they are already great?5. Don't hold back
If a man feels that you are holding on to him like a straw, he will not value you. Do not show weaknesses and do not be humiliated. Do not indulge in male whims. If he threatens to leave, don't hold back. Have self-respect. Show weakness once, you will fall into lifelong bondage.
Love, of course, is built on compromises and concessions, but this should not be abused. If you see that your feelings are being used for profit, tear the relationship in the bud. If you show weakness in the first stages of a life together, then it will be difficult to break out of emotional slavery later. Always keep your head cold, no matter how hot your heart is.
Hebe is a genus of bushy plants belonging to the Norichnikov family. Its number is more than 130 species. He came to us from Australia and South America. In culture, it is grown in winter gardens and greenhouses, but cultivation is also found in pots. If the climate allows, then the plant is grown as a garden plant in open ground.
More than 10 species of Hebe are bred in culture. In the greenhouse, this flower grows up to two meters. The leaves on the bush are formed crosswise. Different species have different leaf shapes. The inflorescence is represented by a group of small flowers of white, blue, lilac flowers. Growth is fast, blooms almost all summer.
Varieties and types
Not grown outside of container culture. The flower grows up to half a meter tall. Flowering takes place in early summer, has white inflorescences.
A rather whimsical species for growing, similar to a coniferous plant because of its small leaves. It has low varieties, growing mostly no higher than 30 cm. The color of the leaves in different varieties ranges from green to bronze.
The view includes both low varieties (15 cm) and higher (50 cm). Grown mainly in containers.
It grows a little higher than 10 cm. Young leaves have a reddish tint along the edges, there are a lot of white flowers. And the variety Sutherlandii has gray leaves.
It grows to almost a meter in height. The leaves are oblong, green. Flowers are white. The species is easy to grow, normally withstands transplants.
Hebe planting and care in the open field
It feels great in bright light, but in order for the plant to withstand direct sunlight, it is necessary to prepare it for bright light starting in spring by taking the containers into the sun.
You can grow a flower in partial shade, but in this case, flowering will be weaker than in good light. In winter, it is advisable to supplement the daylight hours with fitolamps up to 10 hours.
Hebe bush loves heat, the best temperature for it is 20-25 ° C. In winter, the temperature can drop to 10°C.
Hebe rakayenskaya withstands sub-zero cold, but other species die if the scale drops below 7 ° C.
The plant tolerates dry weather well, but in high heat it is advisable to spray the bushes and the air next to them. Usually one spray per day is enough, but in too hot weather, the procedure is carried out twice, in the morning and in the evening. Water for this is taken warm and settled.
Before watering the plant, check if the topsoil has dried out after the previous wetting. It is necessary to carry out moderate watering, but the soil should not dry out too much. In winter, water much less often. You also need to arrange drainage.
The soil can be made from a mixture of soddy soil with leafy, peat and sand, just one share each. Before laying the substrate, drainage is added, it also does not hurt to add charcoal to the soil.
Transplantation is carried out annually in the spring, before the plant blooms. The flower does not tolerate root damage very well. In the case of cultivation in a greenhouse or a pot, a transshipment method is possible.
You can not transplant a recently acquired plant. Before this procedure, hebe must go through an adaptation period, which lasts about a month.
During the growing season (almost all summer), hebe needs to be fed. Once every 15 days, a liquid fertilizer for flowering plants should be used. Fertilizer should be diluted with warm water.
In early autumn, after flowering, hebe requires pruning, otherwise the decorative effect of the bush will decrease.
Hebe propagation by seeds and cuttings
The first method is little used, since the seeds rarely germinate. In the spring, the material for sowing is placed in a mixture of sand and peat to a depth of 1 cm. The pots are covered with polyethylene or kept in greenhouses, since the seeds need good moisture. When three true leaves appear, the seedlings dive into containers with adult hebe soil.
When grown from cuttings, seedlings occur much more often than with seeds. A bush for cutting cuttings must be at least three years old. The tops are cut so that the stalk is about 10 cm in size, and then planted in a mixture of sand and peat. Rooting will take place in a couple of weeks and seedlings can be transplanted into permanent containers.
Diseases and pests
- If hebe is grown in open ground, then possible damage by aphids, spider mites . If pests are found, you should immediately use special means to eliminate them.
- If the plant has too long shoots and small leaves then you need to provide more light.
- Brown spots on the leaves appear from burns if the flower is not accustomed to direct sunlight.
- leaf falls off when the bush freezes, too much watering, lack of enough light.
- With a lack of water leaves begin to wilt .
- Mold forms high humidity and too low temperature.
- If you do not spray in the heat, the leaves of the plant will turn yellow .
Hebe was isolated in a separate genus. Both Veronica and Hebe are representatives of the same Norichnikov family. These evergreen shrubs are divided into two groups. One unites non-winter-hardy species grown in pots and tubs. The second included partially winter-hardy varieties.
Hebe growing area
Some confusion within the family led to confusion with the botanical names of two plants - veronica and hebe. However, despite this, it is reliably known that about 140 species of a plant belonging to the genus Hebe are found on the territory of New Zealand and the Australian continent. In addition, shrubs are comfortable in the vastness of South America and New Guinea.
Botanical description
Hebe has two life forms: spectacular dwarf shrubs and trees reaching seven meters in height. Small exotic shrubs look like conifers. Their leathery leaves look like conifer needles. The hebe plant blooms in summer. Its flowers bloom in axillary vertical racemes. The color of the flowers depends on the variety. They are painted in shades of white, blue and carmine red.
Painstaking breeding experiments have made it possible to bring out beautiful types of hebe. Popular with Hebe Anderson gardeners. It was possible to gain fame for the garden form Variegata, which impresses with variegated leaves. The carmine-red species of the shrub have also become widespread. Gardeners are happy to grow Evelyn, Seduisant, which, due to their striking resemblance, are often confused with Callistemon.
cultivation
In Russia, almost all varieties of shrubs are grown as a houseplant. The plant in the open field is not able to withstand spring and autumn frosts and harsh winters. In the garden, attempts are made to grow only relatively low varieties belonging to the sixth zone.
Not every hebe can withstand the conditions of a cold snowless winter. A plant in the open field (wintering for it is a real ordeal) may well die.
Gardeners are advised not to take risks and grow sissy as a container culture. In winter, the shrub must be kept in a well-lit, cool room. He feels great in winter gardens or on glazed loggias, where the temperature is kept within 5-10 0 C.
They try to keep the plant dormant until the onset of spring days. While the daylight hours are short, they tend to prevent its growth. If the shrub suddenly rushed to growth, provide artificial lighting that prevents the shoots from stretching and losing the brightness of the color of the leaves.
In the spring, when the period of severe frosts has passed, the plants are taken out into the street. At the same time, hebe bushes are left in tubs or pots. There is no point in growing a plant in open ground. In autumn, the containers with chebe are returned to the winter garden.
Care
In the garden, on balconies and loggias for a heat-loving plant, a windless corner is chosen, well protected from adverse conditions. Bushes that are sensitive to cold, when there is a threat of frost, are cleaned in warm rooms. Hebe ornamental plant requires the same care as many other evergreen shrubs, which need rooms where it is quite cool for wintering.
In the summer, with an interval of two weeks, the bushes are fed. Calcined fertilizers are not suitable for top dressing. The earthen ball is kept moist, remembering that the hebe plant is intolerant of drought. Bush care also consists of daily spraying in the spring and summer.
Any soil is suitable for growing flowering bushes. They thrive well even on poor soils. But they do not tolerate clay soil. + 20-22 0 C is considered a favorable temperature for the plant. The heat has a detrimental effect on the bushes, their foliage falls and flowering stops.
Heba needs bright lighting. Bushes are not afraid of falling directly. However, they grow well in shaded corners. True, in the shade, hebe is not capable of lush flowering. In addition, the shoots begin to stretch strongly even with light shading.
In the spring, the hebe plant must be transplanted. The bush is carefully removed from the container, trying not to damage the roots. Without shaking off the ground, it is transplanted into a larger container. Peat, sand, charcoal are mixed with the planting soil. The bottom of the container is covered with expanded clay.
reproduction
In the spring, cuttings are cut from the bushes, cuttings capable of fast pinching are repeatedly pinched. As a result, a lush compact bush with an abundance of branches is formed. Pinching does not affect the number of inflorescences.
Varieties
Indoor and conditionally garden crops are represented by hybrid varieties bred as a result of crossing various types of shrubs. The bulk of them are united under the name of Anderson's hebe.
Currently, hebe mix has gained incredible popularity among gardeners. The plant, according to amateur gardeners, is sold in stores marked on Hebe mix labels. In addition, this type of hebe is offered to buy online stores.
In the description of the variety, the main characteristics inherent in the genus Chebe are given. In fact, this is not a new variety. A mixture of plant varieties was just planted in a pot. In a container, with the same degree of probability, there may be hebe of the same variety or several specimens of different species. If there is only one bush in a pot, most likely it was grown from a mixture of seeds of several varieties.
In love, we always give and receive, it is impossible to remain a separate person, otherwise what is the point of being with someone. Nevertheless, many are afraid to dissolve into feelings, despite the fact that this is the pleasure of a relationship. Are there real dangers in this or is it all empty fears? Looking for an answer.
One whole
When a relationship is just beginning, you don’t really want to think that there are still some grinding, crises and difficulties ahead. We fly “on the wings of love”, rejoice that the very “own” person has been found, and feed on illusions. The expression alone - "it seems that we have known each other for a thousand years" - is worth something. There is a disconnect from reality: people who met a few months ago know each other exactly for these few months. But the mutual interest is so strong that it is strange to think that this person is still some other, although it seems to be very suitable for you. It's not surprising that you both want to know everything about each other and a little more, since you don't know each other so well. Even if his moods and interests seem strange and a little alien to you, at first it will only give him an aura of mystery. At this time, you do not remember about yourself at all. To some extent, because he thinks about you, and, of course, because feelings are more captivating than the familiar world in which you existed before he appeared. The question arises whether there is a danger of falling into dependence on a man.
The psychologist comments:“It is worth understanding that there are different stages in a relationship. The first stage of falling in love, when two people feel like one whole, you cannot live for a minute without your beloved, and he without you. And it seems so natural to share all his hobbies and share with him everything that you have. But gradually you both remember that you are two separate and rather different people. There comes the next stage, when you return to your life, maintaining a common space.
Way to yourself...
Such returns are not always painless. We can't understand why we're fighting when everything has been so good so far. During the time of falling in love, we are already accustomed to receiving a lot from our beloved - attention, understanding, support, the feeling that you are together. And this “dose of happiness” has become as familiar as a glass of your favorite juice in the morning, without which, of course, you can live, but the effect is not the same. Which of you becomes part of the other is difficult to understand, probably both of you are exchanging parts of yourself. And you yourself become a little different person and create that very “we”, without which a couple is not a couple, but neighbors in a hostel. This stage can become even happier than blind love, if you do not rush to understand how to get rid of dependence on a man, but calmly treat possible disappointments. It is unlikely that it will be possible to remain yourself until the end, but for many of us, sacrificing is so scary that parting seems to be the only way out. Or a furious attempt to completely remake the partner "for themselves."
The psychologist comments:“Problems usually start right here. One of the two is still stuck at the merging stage, while the second is already reaching out for his own affairs and hobbies. Most often, the first person to go to this stage is a man, but this is not necessary. At this moment, it is important not to strangle your loved one in a "bear hug", or, conversely, remember that a return to everyday affairs and everyday life can be perceived as cooling or alienation.
…and back
Probably, the search for a norm for dividing life into “own” and “common” that is convenient for both takes more than one day. It is strange to imagine how, for no reason at all, yesterday's "doves" scatter each to their perches, while nothing bothers anyone. There are not so many women who are one hundred percent self-confident among us, who, lingering, for example, at work, do not even think that their beloved will forget for a second that he is no longer alone. You can send follow-up texts or provide pre-cooked dinners, but in the end, that's not the way to go. And confidence also often borders on naivety. Enough examples of how alienation occurs almost imperceptibly. We protect women's independence, and men are unable to understand what is good about it.
The psychologist comments:“The modern world, with its heightened sense of personal freedom, sometimes makes us run away from intimate relationships for fear of dissolving in a partner. Articles about dependent relationships, domestic violence are full of all print and online publications. Yes, indeed, in exchange for love, we always give away a part of freedom. There is no love or even just sex without commitment.”
happiness in pieces
Meanwhile, personal territory is not only a hobby, an opportunity to devote time to a career or hang on the phone for two hours, even if a man is not very pleased. It is also dependence on a man, his bad mood, a tendency to take the blame for any misunderstandings that arise, attempts to plug all the holes in the accidents of a love ship and do it at the expense of himself, his desires, plans and just experiences. More often than we would like, we forget that relationships are a matter of two.
